I am so irritated with my sister now that I wanna pull all my hair out! I just wanna give it up! If only! I just have to deal with it day in day out! I wish sometimes to scream .. cry or just box her senseless! Somehow the feelings never translate into action.. I cant even slap her! or anyone else for that matter!! *sheds angry tears*

P.S: I hope no one gets offended by it.. umm might be my first controversial blog post here..

I was thinking... *umm thats debatable* he he he.. So .. I was thinking that man is so ingenious.. he glorifies everything he is afraid of.. and makes them into "god" ascribes to them various attributes.. mostly good ones... and then bad ones too.. and since "Gods" are not supposed to be bad.. even if they have ego et al... man creates the demons. Since to have equal fight.. for ups an downs to happen demons are as powerful as "gods".. Now if gods are falliable.. umm someone has to be all powerful na ?

So we have gods of gods.. bhrama, Vishnu.. and Shiva...

So now Bhrama is the creator.. he created goddess saraswati.. but he falls for her.. so she is his consort.. Isnt that incest ??

Okay for now forget about this.......

Lets consider.. adam and eve.. they procreate.. so there could be 3 situations...

1. The mother procreates with son
2. Father with daughter
3. Brothers and sisters do it

In either of the 3 cases.. we atill are a race of incest isnt it ?

Umm I agree that I hardly know much about Bible.. or for that matter Indian Mythology.. but this is just a wayward thought that came into my mind today

If I err in my reasoning somewhere do let me know

The title is stolen from prats blog title.. but its apt here :) I am gonna kinda write about a lot of bits and pieces :)

Firstly, There was a strange kinda n\w problem yesterday. I couldn't call anyone and no one could call me.. but once I restarted my mobile, it worked. So may be issue is with my mob? Besides, I didnt get any messages from Brendy too.. Freaky!

And as a result of this mob problem.. I went office real late yesterday.. which was good.. but TL was miffed.. which isn't :((



Secondly! Ah Nancy your card finally reached me! Yay! Few Weeks back, Nancy had blogged that she wanted to send someone postcards, which her friends n family are tired of receiving.. coz they are all the same, So I asked her to send me some. Got to say, I waited for like for sometime now. And when I didn't get it for long, I thought she had forgotten.. Umm not surprisingly. Apparently, she had a lot going on in past few weeks.. but well its here now! Yippie!!!




Thirdly, We didn't go out today again for groceries. Umm.. I kept telling my sister to not go to sleep and she kept telling me don't lie down.. once you sleep its really hard to wake u up.. we both went to sleep :| :| And yes, chores are still pending!






Fourthly, Sweety was in her I-am-bored-please play -with-me mode. which means too much barking and trying to wake us up by pulling the blanket.. ofcourse she failed msierably.. And her revenge was chewing out my favorite jeans. Which Incidentally I wore yesterday.. :( :( This is my 3rd one gone to drains ummm dustbin :(



So there it doesnt end ...

I happened to gift a friend.. a box of chocolates. And with a lot of cerimony, I peeled of the sticker.. so that the price doesn't show.. but umm I forgot to remove the bill from the store.. So that person knows anyways *sigh*

Sometimes you find it hard to let go.. to say farewell... and yet.. as time passes by you don't know when.. you already let go.. what remains is just an illusion of holding on.. and then even that is lost...

Time indeed, heals all!

And yet, at other times, some snatches of tunes, some words, some look.. someone who looks similar.. pass through .. and you suddenly feel that searing pain.. it pierces you so bad.. You don't know what to do with it.. it is just there. You just bear it.. smile through it is more likely..

People don't understand.. the more the time passes.. more memories fade.. and with tht much force it comes right back.. Staggering is the right word for it..

One is totally knocked out coz of it.. and then all you can do is.. just be helpless.. for your eyes remain dry.. your smile intact.. and yet the heart bleeds..

Ah.. this is not the first time I wrote about this.. here's the old one... [ Click on the clock]

I absolutely ADORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! romance and romantic books. It leaves me with a smile........ nah wide grin.... always a happy ending.. and it leaves me wistful.. for you never find that in real life.. not for long atleast :( :( And yet you yearn for it forevermore!

In an relationship.. there is always a person more dominant and one who keeps compromising.. but for a reasonably healthy relationship, too much dominance and too much compromise is not good

I recently read Keith's blog wherein he wrote the pros and cons of blogging.. naturally enough I am tempted to put down mine :-)

I started blogging because I was bored at office esp in the nights.. and coz all my online friends started one. It was a cool thing to do.. Soon enough, it was a way to communicate.

To start with, it became the only way I could put forth my point of view in front of my bf.. when we had arguments. We both were too bullheaded to listen to others point of view. And then the break up time :)

It was my punching bag.. umm ranting machine whatever.. but yes.. in between something happened. I fell in love with blogging... with creating templates too.. I used to first find amazing templates and then tweak them around and update them. first for me.. then my friends.. and finally I created some from the scratch.. it felt amazing to concentrate on something other than the usual rant :)

And somewhere down the line I found my voice again.. I started to write poems :) and then stories. Its been one hell of an journey since Jan 2007 when I actually started blogging..

So here's my pros of blogging:

Got to say my writing abilities have improved a lot. And as I mentioned earlier, I can rhyme now :-)

Some amazing friends.

You get to read a slice of someone else's life .. its enriching.. And I happen to love reading different perspective of the same thing :)

Free poems and short stories of amazing quality. Should also add well researched articles and point of views too

It was and will be always a place where I am totally honest and it is a sort of confession box + diary for me

It makes me think beyond the usual.. fires my imagination

Cons:

One of the major problem if I can think of is.. I feel my inter-personal skills suffered a lot.

Chores are mostly forgotten which results in well scolding arguments.. umm u get the picture donchya?

Oh yes, my work suffers * Am not complaining ;) *

I can't think of more :) But I can add loneliness which can be added to pros and cons.. Its a nice getaway from loneliness.. but then one doesnt try hard to make friends for online friends happen to matter more :)

Today, I am going to tell you a story with no twists and turns. A simple story of strangers meeting and becoming friends... Its a story about how we met our Nanaji Kannav...

Time and again I come up with this.... Free will we say is our right.. and yet sotto voice we say "within limits". And the limit is not set by us but someone else.. how come then it is called free will ?

Should it not be guided will ??

We measure love not with the amount of happiness given.. but with the amount of pain borne.

And still we say.. we are in pursuit of happiness. paradoxical isnt it ?

She waited all day for him to come home. He had promised to come and bring colorful flowers. She loved them. And loved him the best. Her dad.

Sun set. Birds flew home. Moon arrived and left. He didn't come.

His corpse came in the morning.

An unfortunate accident!

She bade him adieu with flowers. He loved them too.

The most powerful force in life?

Faith. It can move mountains. I dont mean just faith in god.. but anything.. you can have faith in you.. in others... Faith is strongest of all forces!

The greatest asset?

Hope. If you can hold onto hope and work towards it in the darkest of times.. nothing can ever faze you.

The most powerful channel of communication?

Touch. Nothing like a hug when you are down. Or a quick pat on your back.. when job's well done.

The most important thing in life?

Living it. Each moment cherished.

The greatest joy?

The greatest joy is when you cannot help but shed some tears.

The worst thing to be without?

A shoulder to lean on.

The greatest loss?

Loss of trust.

The most worthless emotion?

Hate.

The most effective sleeping pill?

Currently my GATE Prep Book.. In General ... a lullaby with someone caressing your head :)

The most satisfying work?

A work thats more of a pleasure than a 'work' like writing blogs :D * anyone wanna hire me?*

The greatest problem to overcome?

Self Doubt.

The best attire?

Nudity? :D :D Erm.. anything I am comfortable with .. and as simple as it can get.

The most crippling disease?

Loneliness.

The most dangerous pariah?

Thoughts banished to the dusty corners of heart.. comes back to haunt you...

The two most powerful words?

Love ya! *they really are* or you can try.. missed you too..

And the greatest attitude?

Gratitude :D :D!!!!

Okay kidding.. attitude is something that should become part of you.. if your attitude overpowers "U".. its not worth having :-)


Anoop! Thank you for these questions... They made me think.. Umm as it happens.. thinking has become a pastime I do without

Again I am late.Three years too late.
Can I hope?

Should I ?

But then I promised. I plan to keep it.

I reach the cafe. The corner booth, our favorite.

There he was. Cigarettes, Coffee, News paper and his smile. Intoxicating............

I asked 'How come?'

'I knew you would. That's how!' he replied.'It was worth the wait......'

We hugged.

It wasn't too late.

I have heard people say that.. your hair dresser know more about you than your wife.. or probably your mistress... didn't really believe in it.. and yet today evening.. had a tryst with truth.. so to say..

I have a secret craving.. of coming home and finding no one waiting for me... That absolute bliss of relaxation when you know.. no one waits for you to serve them food.. oor do something for them.. no worries in the back ground..

A place where I don't have to care about locking myself in.. no one will ask why.. If I don't choose to cook.. no one suffers but me..

If I choose to be half naked beh! no one is gonna notice.. I crave that independence..

Too luxuriously lie down and read a book as and when I like it.. for as long as I want to..

I don't want to hear music loudly even if it bothers my ears just coz someone else likes it loud...

I wanna disappear into oblivion.. be invisible.. so that people go about their lifes not bothering about me.. so that I can go about doing the same myself..

And yet, sadly, I dread it.. dread knowing that no one in this world cares about me! damn! Time and again.. I end up with some or the other contradiction :( :(

Whatever I want .. is something that suffocates me.. what am I to do ?

I want to have a provision to stay home for few days and escape for some more...

May be I should travel alone.. I really need an escape.. Blog is no longer enough :( wonder why....

As usual this is one more rant from my rant factory.. used to come often.. but has come after sometime now...

May be I should rent a rant :D :D

Erm.. just wondering.. is there anything you really crave for right now.. really badly? * just to know I am not the only one*

I know I am not.. umm ppl I am shamelessly asking for sympathy here or what ?

Umm I know its not been two days yet... and still I moved my wordpress blog.. yes I did.. Simply coz.. I didnt know how to change the template.. and there just too many delicious templates available online :( :(

However, as a part of my job.. I do know how to manage a blog from my hosting account... Considering all these things... and the fact that my hosting account is sleeping for sometime now.. I decided to move yes!!

The new URL is

http://meena123.addr.com/wordpress/


Hope to see you there and yes.. do visit and praise the new template :D :D

Well Anoop has given me this kewt tag :-) Something I wanted to write about since long but never ever end up doing it.... So here are few questions about reading habits that has to be replied to and then passed on to others :-)

Here it goes :-)



The History : Do you remember how you developed a love for reading?

My love for reading is more for the stories. Since I was young, I would always pester my mom for more stories. Bedtime stories. But she being tired most of the times won't tell any *boo hoo hoo*
So I started reading.. first the story books .. then when school started the English books.. mine and sisters.. and then Hindi and Marathi books mine and sisters.. since I was in the revised course and she in old one... I had many to read. We did have subscription for Wisdom and occasional Reader's digest.. My mom would go to book fairs and pick up nice books for us.. only my reading speed didn't match her spending speed *boo hoo hoo again *
I read my first M n B when my sis went to college.. one of her friend's sister worked in a ciculating library part time.. So she got books home which her sis used to read and one book my sister borrowed... And I read it under the zero watt bulb :D :D Cant read in front of dad ofcourse..

And then there was this friend of mine.. Minal.. Her family were regular readers.. from Dad, Mom to elder sis and she. So whenever I went to their home.. I used to go atleast 5-10 min before so that I could read books while she got ready.. I thought no one noticed.. but they did :)
So when I finished my 10 board exams.. she gave me Sydney Sheldon novels.. when they shifted places.. they gave me their complete James Hadley Chase collection.. and during that summer I read just too many books..

In 11th and 12th I had college Library where I read classics and the best of all Agatha Christie ... *sigh* then the usual libraries and buying books :D :D




Blast from the past :
What are some books you read as a child?

Hard to remember names of books but I had one Russian folk tales book.. One Tajik tales book too.. It was from a book fair.. Other than that.. umm chandamama, tinkle, reader's digest archies.. mostly comics.. Ah and Enid blyton...

One of school teacher introduced me to it and I was hooked.. used to borrow from friends beg stuff.. bribe them by teaching them maths etc etc :D :D



Favorites:

----> favorite genre: Anything Fiction with a good story.. have a leaning towards magic and fairy tales though

----> favorite novel: Too many to list.. Most by Nora Roberts yep fultu romantic :D :D








When and Where:
Where do you usually read?

Absolutely anywhere :-) If I have to choose.. on my cozy sofa.. or on the ground lolling.. may be on the terrace or on the bed. I even read while walking.. while cooking and while attending nature's call. You get the picture :)
My dream place would be in the bath tub while I am soaking in a warm tub of water.. music is in the back ground.. aromatic candles burning :D :D and a nice gripping murder mystery.. to think.. cuddled with someone you love and reading together would be fun too :D :D

When do you usually read?

Any time I can squeeze in.. in the cab.. in office at home.. umm esp before sleeping..




Preferences:
Do you usually have more than one book you are reading at a time?

Mostly no. However, sometimes I dont like the book I am reading then I start a new one.. and when I have nothing to read I pick up the one I discarded.



Do you buy most of the books you read, or borrow them, or check them out of the library?

Earlier used to depend on borrowing totally from friends.. strangers and library.. I had no qualms in approaching strangers for to borrow a nice book. The fact that I read fast does help. now usually I buy or exchange from friends.



Do you keep most of the books you buy? If not, what do you do with them?
I keep every one of them. I have a closet full of books :D :D I don't mind sharing with people. But I like them given back to me.


If you have children, what are some of the favorite books you have shared with them? Were they some of the same ones you read as a child?

Not really. Nowadays, children have so many options. I would love to share what I read. However, the choice is theirs. As long as they are interested in reading, I would be satisfied.



What are you reading now?

Two books actually. Yeah one of those days.

1. Intimate lies by Robert Westbrook. This is a story of relationship of Scott Fitzgerald and Sheilah Graham as written by her son.

This is non fiction and hence boring :(

2. Gate of Ivory by Margaret Drabble. Just started and reading her for the first time.

Do you keep a TBR (to be read) list?

Not really. I have them on mind but I end up picking up random unknown authors' books.



What books would you like to reread?

Most books I like I tend to re-read many times.

Who are your favorite authors?

Uffo! Too many to name here :(

Just to say, different flavors make a good dish and different authors make a good reading culture * smug*








And I tag..........


Any one who loves books :) and wanna take it up!

Dear Readers,

I am proud to announce the inception of a new blog. Yes my 5th blog :D :D Do I see any derisive smirk or wondering eyes? Well that can't be helped.. I am just raring to go :-) The blog is called 'My Secret Book Shelf'
I guess the name says it all.. isn't it ?

So without much ado.. I present

My Secret Book Shelf

Do visit :-)

Regards,

M.

* Music in the back ground*

"So you are painting is it?" she asked amused to see him all colorful in an old overall.. his painting uniform..

The colors already mixed.. brush in hand he was staring into nothingness. She didn't expect him to reply. He didn't reply always.. but he would few minutes later after he has finished thinking whatever he was... thinking... He listened to everything... and continued like there is no break... It always disconcerted strangers.. but she was used to it...

She sat there quietly. Somehow being with him was like being alone.. and yet not.. he inspired inner peace somehow.. and made her look within.. she liked it.. liked him a lot..

"I woke up and just couldn't help it.. its not a pleasure... its a compulsion" he muttered between his teeth.

She didn't reply.. this is not new.. he always reacted as if its not him but someone else compelling him to draw and it draws his blood... in a way it was true too she mused..

"So who is your muse this time?" she asked tentatively. Sometimes he exploded when she asked him that.. and at other times he was more than eager to share... unpredictable.. May be thats the reason why his paintings are so violent... the riots of colors.. somehow made her choke... it was beautiful alive... and yet it was cruel.. and devastating.. it was not cold though.. it was hot.. like anger.....

Suddenly she looked at him.. her eyes reflecting all she felt.. and she could see the understanding in his eyes. He knew she understood... understood why he hated to paint and yet why he couldn't stop.. it wasn't him.. and yet it was him... he smiled at her... and then said "Vivid"

"What ? I didn't ask how it will be.. I asked who the muse is..."

He again said "Vivid" and smiled absentmindedly...

She was irritated now.. "Why don't you tell me you don't wanna tell?"

"But I did!" he said... then he had that distant look in his eyes.. she knew he is lost again.. in that secret world..where she can't reach him.. but she would wait for him...

She was content to wait.. In this small world of theirs time stopped.. when he painted, everything stopped for her.. her worries.. her past ceased to exist and in this temporary fugue.. this mirage she bloomed.. she lived... aware of everything... He had shown her that... the sound of silence... the secret world that goes unnoticed.. the world of tree fairies and elves ..

"Who the hell is Vivid?" She asked no one... she knew all his friends.. even the imaginary ones... he told her everything sooner or later.. or so she thought.. miffed she looked at him in askance...

Knowing that its futile to expect things from him.. that he cannot offer.. she decided to take up her knitting..

When he first asked her to try it with new patterns she laughed at it.. 'I am not creative honey.. I am a monkey.. I imitate well' she had said.. but due to his persistence she had taken it and seemed like she found her own sky to fly in...

Sometimes she herself was amazed by how her fingers brought images to life.. images she didn't even know existed in her mind.. its as if the fingers had life of their own.. is this what he referred to ?

I dressed up with care today, just for you, oh handsome man! Do you know how you affect me? These glittering earrings, i stole for you I know you like them. I saw you admiring it on that girl.

Oh taggedy tag.. again! And thnx Vinay :-)
He knows how much I love it! so he tags me all the time yay! Also.. anoop had thrown an open tag too soo well here it is :)

If you are wondering what this is all about... I well fell in love with the quote and the monkey too :D :D And yes I am tagged again and yes again by Vinay Isn't that the coolest thing?

So here it goes.....

What have you realized recently?

Free will is a myth like all the other ideals.


Have you given your first kiss away?

How can one give a kiss 'away'?? *derisive* The first kiss 'with a guy' well was amazing.. he kissed the inside of my palm.. yeah romantic.. and yeah the relation is long gone... if that is what it means...


If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 11 blog buddies you would take?

Now thats a tough one :( I can surely say.. I will take Neeru along. Nancy too.. but she has kids would want them to suffer.. Anoop.. karthik :-) Floey! Ishy! Vishal for sure!! along with his guitar!! 4 more to go... Vinay :-) .. erm rest anyone who would love to tag along


Where is the place you want to go the most?

Now this is a toughie! :( I want to visit so many places!! Havent been anywhere yet! *sigh* Still if I have to choose one place... it will be Ireland. I don't know why.. but I am attracted to anything Celtic a lot!


If you have one dream to come true, what would it be?

That all my dreams come true * I am greedy yeah!!* Okay.. seriously? That I get a kind of guy I dream for.. that would be enough for me :-) after all life is long.. and company is important


Do you believe in seeing the rainbow after the rain?

What is not to believe? It is the truth!


What are you afraid of losing the most now?

Nothing actually. If there is one thing I have learned in life it is that.. things are not in my control... worrying about them is not gonna stop it from happening if it has to happen.


If you win $1 million, what would you do?

Invest part of it and spend the rest :-)


If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

Honestly? No. Though I would love to :-)


List out 3 good points about the person who tagged you

Now this is easy ! :-)

--------> Amazing person
--------> Awesome poet
--------> Optimist.


What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Cant write in one line ofcourse! Have a blog post about it here


What type of people do you hate the most?

Hate is too strong an emotion to waste on people I don't like!


What is the one thing you can't live without?

I find this question spurious actually.. and still if I have to answer.. it will be .. computer.. my day starts and ends with it :-)


If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?

I would rather like the fact that the mistakes are pointed out. But I wouldn't someone to rudely point it out to me. I expect that my friends do point it out. I would be put out if they don't.

15th question was missing in Vinay's tag so I am making a question myself....

If you can make one change in yours or anyone's life what would you do ?

I would like to give hope to one person and hopefully that person would give it to someone else.


Are you a shopaholic or not?

This is a trick question bah! I am not a shopper but I am known to impulsively buy stuff more than I planned to buy esp clothes....


Find a word to describe the person who tagged you

*Easy Easy!!* Chwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttt!!!!

If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?

Inactivity. I have a habit of letting things take its course... well that means procrastination :D :D


What’s the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?

Erm.. too personal to state here :(


Would you rather have love but no money or money but no love?

A little bit of both :-) Enough money to never feel the lack of it and enough love to never feel unloved.. I wouldn't want too much of love or too much of money though.. that would be suffocating!

and I tag:

Anyone who wanna take it on :-)