meena iyer

I was watching a news item yesterday, wherein ppl were surveying so many schools all over india to know abt the need for sexual education.

During this , they quoted this statistics.

53% of Indian children go through some kind of sexual abuse!!!

This water downs to the fact that every second child is sexually
abused! Isnt it startling and more so distressing??

My sister says distressing yes. but startlig no! she sayz open ur eyes meena! every bus ride is an abuse. Even trains are.

She reminded me of the incidence that we overlook as usual!

Like the way, when we used to walk on roads there r ppl who wud wantonly hit u and say sorry. In the train the hawkers wud be like (male) 'Kaay ho madam, bheed hai ikde teekde laagnaarach.' ' What madam its crowded. something will touch here and there'

Most saddest part wud be other women saying ' Itke natak asell tar jaayche na 1St class madye' ' If u have so much problem y dont u travel in 1st class?'

Then i was wondering is it really that prevelant i remembered my ole wounds. It does happens very often the kids r so lost so innocent and they feel ashamed and never tell anyone until its gone too faar.....

There was this guy whose arguements touched some chord somewhere. He said ppl ask me why dint u tell?
how can a child tell?
do ppl give conducive environment? Do parents and teachers give that?
What abt understanding? Can a 7 yr boy understand whats happening to him?
Neednt he be informed?

I reflected back to realise was my family very open abt sex? They werent. But we had a book on Sex . It was explained so
simply. The best part was the preface......

The author said he asked a 10 year ole boy what he want to know abt sex?

The kid said everything! and thats what the author did. explained everything so that a simple 10 yr ole
boy can understand too......

I think i was around the same age when i read it. Thats when i understood abt babies and reproduction. I agree there was many stuff we dint understand then... we did later...

In the news item few teenage gals were quoted and u know what? I jived wid them.. i remember how obsessed we were abt 'sex'. I remember sitting in a different room me renu parma n nilesh. We were buddies very close. We sat togather and devored
this book. IT was simple open curiosity.
but then after that.. we lost the childishness.. we had grownup some..
However, my point is we did it on the sly!

Our parents kept this book so hidden that ou curiosity was piqued. They wudnt even kiss in front of us as if it is a shameful act! forget kissing i have never seen them hug!

I wonder if my mother wud have been alive wud i have gone to her to confide?
possibly i wud. I have no way to know. but then such situation wudnt have occured...

My dad was always over proetective.. he wud never allow us to be alone wid anyone only if my mom is there else we wudnt be...

Now i wonder wasnt he right? if the figure is conservative as my sister says or not i think in hindsight my dad was right.. only it dint help

Imagine kids who r not so protected??

I think sexual education is must. infact there shud b discussions so that the kids can tell if they were abused. And only telling wudnt work! if the kid does say he/she shud see justice done!

Abt sex education...
Well most of us discuss anyways. some ppl for being cool embellishes some and others repeat it like a parrot. Isnt it better to have full knowledge than inadequate?

I think they better introduce sex education else this statistics may increase....

I used to wonder y i see so many ppl wid same stories! now i know y! Coz society is infected wid it!

Though i dont get why is it infected? why the fetish wid young boys and gals?

are all ppl so screwed up?

I wonder if i will get the reply if ever. I wonder if i am strong enuf to understand the reason ...

I wud still say prevention is better than cure.. however hard it is.. children needs to know what it is. They need to understand when they r being abused!

Like i had read this item somewhere....
One uncle 'family friend' wud take the kid out for rides etc and then give her gifts....

after the child was used to it once the man wanted her to try the frock and come.. it became usual.. parents thought this man is generous n likes the kid...

then one day the man n the kid were alone and the man asked ger to change.. the kid was small and cant do it alone.. so this man helped her out.. and it is not required to tell what followed.. he dint do much than feel and sadly the kid liked it... all thru
her growing years they went a step ahead than this.. the gal never knew she was being used she thought this is how it is! never felt it was wrong until later!!

There is one time when kids were playing in park. there was this ole man who wud always come give them peppermints and make them play. no one thought he has such perverted thoughts... after all he was 'thataa'... Well one fine day he said to the kids.. to grow up u need to use that 'i dont know the exact word' but the one wherein u do pullups..... and one of the child was ready to do it.. and while she was hanging there the ole man was busy jerking himself off looking at the kids panties! she wasnt aware!!

There r many such instances.. it makes me sick!

meena iyer
I am sad today. God knows why! Not just sad angry and frustrated too. I never knew I got attached to a particular person so much. And when that person said he isnt comfortable to talk to me anymore... I am hurt as simple as that. Too hurt! To think i was joking that i was angry... n i thought that guy juss got my joke n is kidding around too and to get something like that in return.. was well better said than kept inside.. it still hurts

I am tired of being miss two goody shoes!

Why can't I act like too rude? Even when I hurt?

And then the morning sucked too.. Firstly my sweetie is sick. She has fleas n allergy both. Poor sweetheart keeps scractching and hurting her skin. Baby get well soon dear..

And taking her to doc always leaves a bad taste in my mouth esp wid the injections......

And then we went to the bank today1 Its so goddamn hot I hate it.....

Finally the biggest issue. Its abt my mobile fone. Its been 1week and i havent yet used it once Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Its coz i dont have any good address proof Psssstttttt

I wonder y i cancelled my hutch account, after all i paid all the bills. Well its seemed right i wanted airtel connection...

Firstly the dealer is a dumbass! That guy told me debit card
statement wid a photocard (citibank) wud be enuf.. n when i take that he says it wont work!

He wants me to give a phone bill xerox. I oblige n in the hot
sun of 1:00 pm I search for the goddamn xerox shop which r conveniently closed. I do all these to get the connection today coz in the night i cud call some friends.... and the dealer finally realise even they r not enuf!
What the fuck!
So 2 hours or so roaming in hot sun later.. being late for office i
have no airtel connection.... In fact i wont have either for some time now....

I can get one as my sisters corporate connection. However that will take atleast 4-5 dayz or more!
And til then i dont have any way to use my fone!
Isnt it sick????

And if that wasnt enuf I mistakenly wore my sisters sandals to office n she is angry for that!!

I know these r not enuf reasons to be soo very upset..

I guess its more... It made me realise abt all the stupid probs we have still left in mumbai..The fact that we lost document Ration card transfer certificate.. so have no ration card no election card... seems like someone fishy isnt it? no documents at all!!

And then i remebered the 7 day trip to mumbai wherein i was made to run all over the places...
Talati office to Vasai court to Taluka office.. And goddammit it
was my first taste of how government offices work..

And then it didnt help that most ppl knew my dad as a trouble maker... My dad has this terrible yen to fight against corruption.. doesnt help when ppl know u r his daughter.. they wont mess wid him but they sure did wid me..

Every goddamn person there tried to shirk me off as if i am some trouble.. As if they help me they wud be fielding trouble..
i kinda dint want to remember those dayz...
I knwo most will ask if i dont like my dads attitude..
Yes i dont. Although i am proud of his values i am not proud of
his methods :

Well thats it.. the old shadows are following me today and
making me saad very saad!!

I kinda hate that ppl stereotype me always i dunno why!

And ppl always think i am better than i always am..
All my life everyone called me agenius who doesnt use her talents well!
And my parents never thought so....
Thats a different story!
But yeah! always. Do I show more than i know?? do i act so?
I dont think so!
And then ppl think mostly i am very understanding etc etc
Well Am i really so?
thats juss the problem i wish pp see me as i am!
I wish ppl dont either admire me or act as if i am not good at all.. I am somewhere in betwen good n bad!
i hope ppl see that.
I hated everytime ppl came to me
juss to ask help esp in the exam time n then ignore me(be indifferent) I hated
it when ppl said ah we cant make meena angry after all who will give us ssignment help us in studies!

I ahted it when ppl wud keep doing meena didi n then choose someone else as best senior!

I wonder how they think i felt to have missed the very party i organised from scratch!
I ahte that i think of these petty things n still hurt.. hurt myself more..
I hate that i find it hard to forgive n forget!
I ahted it when someone i cared abt dint give me reason as y he left n wanted to start from where we left off as if nothing was wrong...
I hated it when he still dint give me the reasons...

I juss hate a lot isnt it??

I am tired.. tired of laughing tired of smiling..
I hate my dilemma.. I wish i had a normal life wid normal
I hate that i still wish for the same after wishing it since
I hate the envy i feel i felt when i see a happy family.....
I ahte so many things

I guess i shud stop now.. enuf of hate
Le sigh
Meena Iyer

This is for you. You know it when you read it . I hope you read it and forgive me. I have done really bad by you. I want to let you know that it was a misunderstanding by my part. You see when I checked my profile it dint show the team members. Simply coz i was logged in.

After reading your explanation, I rechecked without logging in and I found out my mistake. you see the blog you were talking was not even in my consideration. And the one I was talking about, you didnt know about.

Sigh, it is a stupid misunderstanding on my part. If i wasnt a paranoid these days, I would never have done such a mistake.

You see I have always admired you and wanted you as a friend. But i am not someone who hits out of the blue. I saw an oppurtnity and asked you. I guess i squandered it. I hope you will forgive me. If not forgive me, I just want you to know that I dint mean to hurt you. I assumed you to be amit coz only he and shay knew about the 3rd blog and shay dint tell anyone.

Sigh i wish i remembered the 4th blog. i didnt and I hurt you. I hope you read this and understand my position.