meena iyer

I have a secret craving.. of coming home and finding no one waiting for me... That absolute bliss of relaxation when you know.. no one waits for you to serve them food.. oor do something for them.. no worries in the back ground..

A place where I don't have to care about locking myself in.. no one will ask why.. If I don't choose to cook.. no one suffers but me..

If I choose to be half naked beh! no one is gonna notice.. I crave that independence..

Too luxuriously lie down and read a book as and when I like it.. for as long as I want to..

I don't want to hear music loudly even if it bothers my ears just coz someone else likes it loud...

I wanna disappear into oblivion.. be invisible.. so that people go about their lifes not bothering about me.. so that I can go about doing the same myself..

And yet, sadly, I dread it.. dread knowing that no one in this world cares about me! damn! Time and again.. I end up with some or the other contradiction :( :(

Whatever I want .. is something that suffocates me.. what am I to do ?

I want to have a provision to stay home for few days and escape for some more...

May be I should travel alone.. I really need an escape.. Blog is no longer enough :( wonder why....

As usual this is one more rant from my rant factory.. used to come often.. but has come after sometime now...

May be I should rent a rant :D :D

Erm.. just wondering.. is there anything you really crave for right now.. really badly? * just to know I am not the only one*

I know I am not.. umm ppl I am shamelessly asking for sympathy here or what ?
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8 Responses
  1. You have just descibed my life! Living alone for the past 4 years has been the most wonderful experience for all the reasons you listed. And my last few holidays have been alone and the best I've ever had. I can do what I want when I want without consulting anyone else.. Selfish? Maybe. Contented? Certainly.

  2. --xh-- Says:

    yes yes and then some more yes - i really carve for a long solo ride, preferably more than a week length, with no cell phones, no plans and no hurry.. just ride and get soaked in the nature.. but i know it is not easily possible now... sigh!

  3. Kieth I envy you :D

    xh.. I know *sigh*

  4. Vinay Says:

    i ryt now craving for a poem from the poems princess...i.e u... update song of my life real soon will u?? :)

  5. nickdigital Says:

    i hv kinda lived it so many times .. but i kinda enjoy it.. however i would still chose to be with ppl than enjoying my solace all the time .. life is so busy that in a way we anyway live it in solitude .. but yes when the so desired break sneaks in when you cant take it anymore .. when your back breaks sitting for hours .. your eyes bulge out staring the screen .. and you dont enjoy books or music .. then it call for a party time .. a party with oneself .. a ride with nature ... a walk to the woods .. really works .. do try ..

    one shd also surprise onself with moments to get soaked in nature to witness the absolute freedom ... nothing like it ;)

  6. Reflections Says:

    oooooooohhhhhhhhh u've just described wht I want.
    But sometimes I feel guilty wanting it coz GOD has given me everything & surrounded me with family & friends & I want to be alone:-P
    But I just want some space...some time to tht so wrong of me to wish for:-(

  7. Rambler Says:

    oh I want the exact opposite thing you know..once I want to go home..thinking that someone is really waiting for me :)

  8. @vinay.. poem princess?? :O :O there r few haikus for u waiting :D :D

    @ navin.. u r right! And not that I havent ever njoyed myself like that.. i do.. but sometimes.. its just too much!

    @nancy! not at all.. its natural.. and dont neglect the need.. for unless u r not happy ur family wud never be!

    Besides.. whats so wrong to have some time to oneself ?

    I suggest u go out for walks.. for window shopping etc.. alone.. believe me u wud feel better for it.. n ur family will appreciate it :)

    @rambler.. always wanting what is not isnt it ?

    When i was in hostel.. I always found my dads over bearing care too much.. like he wud wait for me with a coffee in his hand... even if I came home every 5 days...

    And now.. I wish atleast once in a month he would just sit with me and talk.. to ask whats up in my life.. *sigh*

    Its better to appreciate what you have than to hope for better!