Today is dedicated to one of my friend who is flying to USA in August... Its been ages we haven't chatted on phone and we did now... I realize that although we were not in contact much... there is still a corner in my heart that cares for him... very much.. its like a bitter truth that you drink and swallow no matter what.. You like to forget it.. but like a bad penny it resurfaces and hits u smack on the face.. I guess bad penny was a bad analogy.. but what the heck you get the point.. I know am gonna miss him hard esp since he wont be coming back once he goes.. How I wish I can go there too.. For the first time.. I wanna accept that I would love to go and explore.. expand my horizons.. but the thing is... I know I would probably never..

I wonder if this need is so acute coz he is going there?? Lets just say he is one of the "he" In my she stories...


So once again.. we separate.. I kinda think am the one of t he most repressed persona round.. someone who kinda can never resolve her feelings..

I feel betrayed and yet I am glad that he bothered t let me know even if we are not on contact much..

I always knew he would go.. am glad for him.. but i wish i cud be there too :(

Is this envy ? or what is it?

Sheesh!