Yeah! I am feeling extremely lazy. I have been very irregular in blogging. Somehow this rain is depressing! Nuffin worser than rains in the city. Its not like the open grounds suffused with greenery around. You cannot see the rains coming slowly towards you.. anticipating the thrill of first shower of rain. Nor can you feel the cool breeze bringing in thousands of different scents entralling and assaulting your senses until you think of nothing else but rain. You cannot see the birds chirping their sweet songs welcoming rains that would drench them to bones ...........
But bring forth the worms that are their standard diet!

You cannot see the hide and seek that the clouds play with the mountains nor can you see waterfalls making you feel close to god.. make you hope for the future..

As it is i have enough fools in my life i dont want any additions!
I dont knw who and what gives fucking bastards any right to actually make a judgement on me without ever knowing me!

Some fucking fool had some fucking problem he thinks the whole world should have it. just becoz his n mine background match somehow he wants m to be careful!

Up ur ass u asshole!

If i have any issues or if i will have any issues its my problem i dont want ur prophecy of doom!

That fucktard hardly knew me for 5 min and started his crap abt how he suffered and he knows

Piss off!

I am goddamn tired fo this caviliar attitude of these ppl.

Nishants says rightly, I somehow have a magnetism that attracts weirdoes [:X]

This is fucking heights!

Date: 25 th May 2007

On this day I departed for Mumbai from Bangalore on a volvo. I would like to share my experiences with anyone who cares to read it.

It would have been uneventful.. but then it wudnt be meena trvelling would it be?

Well for starters it was the day i leave n i didnt recieve my return ticket with no hope of recieveing it! But after 4-5 calls i convinced the courier guys to save their breath and let me collect it from their office... They reluctantly agreed.. incidentally that was at 2:30 and i had to board bus by 3:00 n I was still at Lalbagh! It would bore you guys with how much touch n go it was...

Other than that the only thing that was awesome was the weather!
I have taken loads of pics of clouds.. will post them somewhere Laters!
Well thats all for starters.. will describe the next day layters..

I had some fun escapades.. keep tuned in

We all know what happened the last time.. My system crashed. I don't get to change my playlist on my mobile Whannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

If only that was the only grievance.

Lets see. After I got approval I checked for train tickets online. Nonoe was available ofcourse. Fir went to Krtdc or somefin to get reservation in Volvo. I went to Majestic(kempegowda bus station) only to find server is down and i can't book ticket there. Moreover, I can book ticket in BDA complex which is like too near to my place. Sweet isnt it?

Now going to majestic cost me 100 bucks all for nothing. Finally I came home and gave my dresses to tailor to get it stitched and it was time to rest and go to office. Le sigh

Now, ?I ahve some bank work to do that requires 'Revenue stamps'. We search many GPO's and then find out from some general stores that they are banned from Karnataka. He suggested we go to Hosur as it is in Tamil nadu to get them (Like 4 hrs travel from bangalore). Reason is unknown. Isnt it strange? No one in GPO cared to inform about it. they wanted us to search in general stores...

Finally we dropped that idea and decided to buy it from mumbai. So now, the tailor had decided to give the dresses back to me all stitched by Wednesday which I knew wudnt be done. But.. what i ddint expect was that it wouldnt be started not cut. Also, the guy has the termity to actually look blank!
And shameless unprofessional brute didnt have decency to say sorry! Finally he said he will give it today Thursday by 12:00. Knowing the nature of the beast i went at 2:00 pm (I had lied to him that my bus is today by 3:00 and not tomorrow when it actually is......) So, I reach there by 2:00 and I see that one of the cloth is just being stitched. Thank god for small mercies the other was already done. I wonder if i had told the truth what would have happened? Even tomorrow I would have got the dress by 2:30 pm. I wonder how would I ahve catched the bus??

Well, what I am trying to point is this guy's indifference to his clients deadline....
This is not just his case but general one. Once we had our Mixer's jar given for repair. He said he had to replace the part we will get it by the evening. As usual I went there the next day. It wasnt done. I went there every day for a week to get it done. By the time i was ready to take back the un-rectified Jar. Not that it is very cheap or we get some discout to wait late. Its their call. The jar got repaired for 60 bucks which would have been done for 30 in Mumbai (been there done that!). And the simple cloth would have been stitched at 150 each and I gave 220!

No wonder most companies in bangalore prefer ppl outside bangalore as their employees.

Back to the topic....
If this wasnt enough, My return ticket(booked online) hasnt reached me yet and We have a train block in mumbai, the very day I land there. Isnt it funny?

Exasperating is more like it. Like all the forces in the world are conspiring to not let me go to mumbai!

And I ahvent lost my hopes yet! I will still go inspite of everything!

Yeah yeah writing on it again. But few new thoughts. Sometimes, I really wonder why some one comes into your life. Especially for only brief period. Like someone whom you meet in the train, share your life and then move on. At the most, you remember them once in a blue moon and smile may be. Or wish they are doing as well as you are.



Some ppl touch your heart in that small time. Like once when I was travelling alone, this family was soo good to me. Random friendly gestures. They touch heart more than the most. Does absense make heart fonder?
I wonder why!

Some ppl stay for long. Some for little while. everyone leaves a indeliable mark in your memory in your heart. My childhood friend Jagruti, she is married now. Now even if we ever meet which is most unlikely, we wouldn't gel as much. We are too different but then she was my closest friend. What changed so much?

Deep inside are you so different? Not likely. I guess this false veneer of education. I call it false coz true education will teach us humility. It would teach us to actually see through these cowwebs. But we end up creating more. Who is to blame?

Now there is one more question why to blame? Why is it soo neccessary that someone take blame someone be a scapegoat? Why cant w let it be unresolved and move on?

Venue: Office

A notification. You got a mail.

I click on popup and do a gig in the air.

Hello Meena,

Your leave application for the period of 5 days (27 May 2007-31 May 2007) has been approved.
Please contact your local management to work out the shifts so that someone can cover your work load.

Regards,

Leon Elperin

I am ecstatic. Finally, I will go to Mumbai! Meet my friends for 7 days. I keep blabbering about it in the cab. come home. dance with smitha (my sis) for some time. play with sweety(my baby pet).

I turn on computer to tell it to my friends online.

Notification:
system alert.

your computer is infected with a hacker tool. please install 'winantiviruspro 2007'

I yell at my sis. What did you do now? I told you not to install anything unless you know what it is.

Smitha hurt. mood changed to bad
Le sigh.

I run scans. Many scans. Different anitvirus scans. spyware scans. adware scans.

Still there it is. The alert is juss there.

Opened Add/remove programs.

There it is: Windows security alert, Internet explorer plugin. Video ex 8.0.

I click on uninstall.

Notification:

You need to reboot your system to uninstall.

I click on okay. system reboots. but there it is not uninstalled

Fiddle with registry. entries deleted reappears. Le sigh

Try safe mode. same thing repeats. even the notification appears in safe mode [:O]
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Pssssssssssssssssssst

Open list of services. stop many unwanted services. Look for suspicious ones. Not there.

Now time to hunt the windows and system32 folder.

hack hack. delete delete.

Finally restart.

There you go.....

Bios loading....

beep beep beep.....

system restarts.

Again Bios loading

beep beep beep....

Conclusion: system crash!

Then you remember, the last time the way you broke the XP cd to pieces. you ver very very angry.

You cry . you scream. but there it is. your system gone phut!

you search for long forgotten rejected ubuntu Live cd.

Come online and blog.

What the heck!

Shit happens !!!

Life goes on [:D]

I read a novel by Kiran desai . To be truthful I had huge hopes from this book. It sadly disappointed me. I felt it had the same listlessness that I generally feel in Indian authors. Incharitable I know... but the very few I have read makes me think of this.. Like yashovarman by Sanjay soni.

We wont talk abt that. Only about this one.

The story is based on post colonial days. this is a story of a girl Sai. She is a daughter of a airforce pilot who dies in russia. Involved in indo-russian space shuttle operation. The story is about how this gal and her friends react to the growing tensions between gorkhas and the bengalis in the northeastern town.
Misty and beautiful this town is a bit melancoly.

At an early age Sai is sent to a very repressive convent school which she hates. On her parents death in an accident, Sai is funded by her grandpa for studies. However, due to reducing income, he decides to call her back and engages a tutor for her home.

In the Grampa's household, thre is a cook whose son is in US of A trying to be rich and seeing his dreams being shattered.

The story is set as i said during the onset of gorkha revolt. At that time, Sai was in love with her only mathematic tutor, a gorkha accounts student. As the story moves forward, the love of these ppl changes to soemthing else. The apparent confusion and occasional insight of these two teenagers are wonderful to read.
The only foriegner living there is extradicted. There are other changes like her only friends, the old ladies who tutored her are besotted by squatters who takes over their home and their life in many respects.

The story starts with a robbery of arms from the grampa's house and it ends with a innocent guy nabbed by the police and tortured. The guy's relations (wife n father) retaliates by robbing the only love of grampa's lyf, his pet dog.

Also, hearing about the issues in his native land, the cooks son returnns home. On the way he is robbed. Not only he loses money but his clothes and other luggages. He returns in a worst condition than he was earlier.

I guess this is where the name, Inheritance of Loss is inherited.

I recently read one of my friend's blog. It was a plea to her dad to understand her aspirations, her need. It is true that parents have the best interests for us in their mind. But how many parents forget in the mean time if the path they dream for us is really our dream. Are we so much a extentions of them that we dont have our own identity??

Pushing your frustrated and not so frustrated dreams on your children is like trying to live your life through them its not possible!!!!

And the most common lament is.. We never had oppurtunities like you have! All we want is for the best for you

You are right! You didnt have as much choices..... We have! SO LET US MAKE THEM!!!!


I am sure most of you all agree with me! I mean what the heck is wrong with their mind? How can they forget they were young once and had dreams.............

All they remember is they had dreams and want it to happen for their child as it didnt happen for them ! PSSST
Doesnt make sense!

After really very lengthy posts these small ones seems a welcome change isnt it?

Today I didnt come online a lot. Even gtalk chats have reduced. I wonder if it is direct result of some kind of disillusionment? For some reason flirting aint as appealing as it was. nah dun mark me wrong. I will still flirt.. but i no longer am satisfied by online relation.. I want that personal touch of meeting everyday.

Those pleasant ways of holding hands.. laughing etc etc... yeah getting sentimental again!

Well one of my friends wid whom i had chat wid expressed how special she felt holding hands... made me remember too.. nah this isnt gf-bf thingy.. well even when your best friend holds your hand how comforting it feels?

childishly swinging hands while walking? Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Yeah nostalgia... What I wouldnt give to be back at hostel.

I know its easy to look back wards and say how golden it was .. I still wish what the heck!

After a long time I am getting this terrible yen to blog during the day and almost regularly. God knows why. esp as I ahve nothing to really talk abt only the will to talk..

Finally I decided to take a take on quotes that I wanted to write about.

In one of my frustrated phase I have made a change in my wallpaper which says...

Dreams are like Rainbows, Only fools chase them.....

How pesimistic is this? I can see nodding head wid ready advices (After all I am one of them too ... like recognises like :D) Well to continue...


I dont think it is pessimistic at all... yes you read right. it isnt pessimistic. As long as you only dream and chase it.. it is fools paradise. to actually make it work you need to water it down to real world. Plan it. on basis of reality. So is it not not pessimistic? [:D]