A colleague of mine doesn't like to take calls and I was planning to take a leave so he would have to. We were discussing this when he suddenly quipped, " I wanted to quit the job last week itself"
Shocked,I asked " And?"
" No one offered me a job" he continued like nothing happened.

This weekend had been eventful.. would be a terrible understatement. I am sure most of us must be tired of the rhetoric that no one even bothers to listen.. Yes about the Mumbai fiasco. We have decried the politicians yes.. lamented about how leaderless we are.. and how unsafe the general public is.. and infact its better to be a politicians than common public.. may be thieves identify with thieves and leave them alone..

Whichever way.. we are overwrought.. So am not gonna talk about that..

This weekend by far has been more eventful.. though I didn't go out..

I read two books "The sea of poppies" by Amitav Ghosh and "The white tiger" by Aravind Adiga
Both of them impressed me in different ways.. and yet there was one connecting thought..

In the Sea of Poppies , Neel, a character ruminates that for all the modernity he thinks he possesses, he had never eaten food cooked by a "a lower caste person".. and he gags when he has to eat it for the first time.. and in The White Tiger, Ashok doesn't have any gumption in blaming his loyal driver for the crime (accident) that his wife committed..

Both ways it shows what a hypocrite we really are ... isnt it ?

Also, I had long conversations.. which is usual.. actually.. but the one I had with karthik
was fun! We had some close calls with heightened passions and loud words.. but we fared quite fine and parted amicably :D

Umm I have received an award from Agnes.. will post on it later.. and one from Rukhiya

The free spirited and Independent blogger
Thank you girl! :)

It is not hard for me to choose the list for awarding this.. for I just blog hopped two blogs and I wanted to show my appreciation for their initiative. For in any bad situation there is always something positive.. and for me, this was the most positive response to the Mumbai fiasco. Kudos for your free spirit and innovative thinking. It is easy to complain.. to pin point.. to try and fit the blame.. harder to take the blame.. but hardest is to take responsibility for something that is none of your business and then go ahead and do it well :)

I know not your name or your identity. I wont say that I have followed your blog diligently. But I did notice your initiative and I want to thank you.. like I know many others would love to :)

1. Terror Helpline
2. Mumbai Help

I try to reason out some sense some weird reason.. anything.. that could make me understand as in why some bunch of weirdos would simply kill so many people.. innocent people.. who by some quirk of fate might also be their relatives ?

Would they be then able to face themselves in the mirror ?

Even without it too.. may be.. they should be made to clear the mess they create.. so many burnt bodies.. torn into pieces..

some of them must be having those big dreams.. which would now never come true..

Do they even stop to think ?

If it really helped their cause even... one can rationalize it as "war".. but that doesnt even happen..

We have become so insensitive to these bomb blasts that.. they remain nothing but "breaking news" that we follow for some days and then forget.. ofcourse not for the near n dear ones of the people who died...

And still life goes on.. and this story becomes stale..

Does these terrorist really achieve anything ?

Just take a look at the time line of blasts..

March 12, 1993: A series of thirteen explosions in Mumbai, then called Bombay, resulted in 257 deaths and over 700 injuries. The blasts were orchestrated by the organized crime syndicate called the D-Company, headed by Dawood Ibrahim.

February 14, 1998: Coimbatore bombings: 46 deaths, 200 wounded as a result of 13 bomb attacks in 11 places.

October 1, 2001: Militants attack Jammu & Kashmir Assembly complex in Srinagar, killing about 35. The Muslim extremist group Jaish-e-Mohammed was allegedly involved.

December 13, 2001: Attack on the Indian Parliament complex in New Delhi led to the killing of a dozen people and 18 injured. Pakistan-based terror groups were blamed for the attack.

September 24, 2002: Akshardham temple in Gujarat: The first major hostage taking since Sept. 11 in the U.S.; 31 people were killed and another 79 wounded.

May 14, 2002: Militants attack on an Army camp near Jammu, killing more than 30 people.

March 13, 2003: A bomb attack on a commuter train in Mumbai killed 11.

August 25, 2003: Twin car bombings in Mumbai killed at least 52 people and injured 150. Indian officials blamed a Pakistan-based terror outfit.

August 15, 2004: An explosion in the northeastern state of Assam killed 16 people, mostly school children.

July 5, 2005: Militants attack the Ram Janmabhoomi complex, the site of the destroyed Babri Mosque at Ayodhya in Uttar Pradesh.

October 29, 2005: Three powerful serial blasts rocked the busy shopping areas of south Delhi, two days before the Hindu festival of Diwali, killing 59 and injuring 200. A Pakistan-based terrorist outfit, the Islamic Inquilab Mahaz (believed to have links with Lashkar-e-Toiba) claimed responsibility.

March 7, 2006: A series of bombings in the holy city of Varanasi killed at least 28 and injured 101. Indian police put the blame on some Pakistan-based terror outfits.

July 11, 2006: Seven bomb blasts occurred at various places on the Mumbai Suburban Railway, killing 200. Investigations revealed that terror outfits with a base in Pakistan were behind the blasts.

September 8, 2006: At least 37 people were killed and 125 were injured in a series of bomb blasts in the vicinity of a mosque in Malegaon, Maharashtra. The blasts were followed by an explosion and most of the people killed were Muslim pilgrims. The students Islamic Movement of India was responsible.

May 18, 2007: A bombing during Friday prayers at Mecca Masjid, Hyderabad, killed 13 people. Four were killed by Indian police in the rioting that followed.

May 26, 2007: Six people killed and 30 injured in a bomb blast in India's northeastern city of Guwahati.

June 10, 2007: Gunmen killed 11 people in separate incidents of firing in Manipur's border town of Moreh.

August 25, 2007: Forty-two people killed and 50 injured in twin explosions at a crowded park and a popular eatery in Hyderabad by Harkat-ul-Jehad-i-Islami (HUJI) activist.

May 13, 2008: A series of six explosions tore through Jaipur, a popular tourist destination in the Rajasthan state in western India, killing 63 people and injuring more than 150.

July 25, 2008: Seven blasts in quick succession across the south Indian tech city of Bangalore killed one and injured more than 150 people.

July 26, 2008: Serial blasts in the western Indian city of Ahmedabad killed 45 people and injured more than 150. A group calling itself Indian Mujahideen claimed responsibility.

September 13, 2008: Five bomb blasts in New Delhi's popular shopping centers left 21 people dead and more than 100 injured. The Indian Mujahideen claimed responsibility.

September 27, 2008: A blast in a New Delhi flower market left one dead.

October 30, 2008: Thirteen bomb blasts in India's northeastern state of Assam and three other towns left at least 61 people dead more than 300 injured

November 26, 2008: Nearly 101 people have been killed and many injured

Has anything come out of all these ? Unless ofcourse they want to control population explosion...

Not a thing..

I really do wonder.. do they really have a reason.. or are they just bunch of sadistic people with delusional grandiose personality who need psychiatric care..

And even if they do.. does it justify it in any weird way ?

I think not :(

P.S: Time line courtesy NDTV.com and I have purposefully not included any gory pictures.. you can see them enough in any news channel..

I have always enjoyed hanging out in trios. I never realized how much until recently. I like trios much better than one on one relationship.. May be when you are only 2 of you.. the attention span required is more.. or may be the expectations.. I don't know what.. but I have always made three way friendship.. be it in my school, college or now outside college..

The best part of being in three way friendship is that you can "bitch" about any of the friends to the other. For you do love the other person.. but a close and long relationship entails lot of complaints.. not serious enough to be told to the person in question but it needs a vent out.. If you have only one "best friend" and you tell it to a third person its a breach in the "bond" but if you have 2 best friends.. complaining to the other one is a better option.. besides.. if it is really serious.. she/he can initiate the conversation in a diplomatic manner .. So its always been really nice..

But the down side is, each one has so many secrets kept from other.. that it might become really tedious to keep up the relation in long run.. unless ofcourse everyone is smart enough to share it :)

The best trio relation I ever had.. and it still exists... been nearly 7 years of it, is with my college friends.. Smital and Shraddha. We had an unsaid resolution that we wont have any secrets from the other person.. how much ever trivial it was.. however, we did complain to the other person..

I mean.. if X had an complaint against Y.. she will tell Z.. and its the discretion of Z to let Y know or not.. or when to tell.. X knew ki Y will eventually know.. but the implicit trust she placed on Z helped :)

This still happens between us.. for lets face it.. long standing relationship does have a lot of misgivings :)

So any one else like me who likes to hang around in trios???

I totally totally love storm. There is nothing in this world which fascinates you and at the same time terrifies you as storm. Nature at its best.. or worst.. its hard to determine..


I would so love to be here and to see this storm. Sadly, I have never seen a storm.. the closest I had come to one.. was once when gusts of wind just passed through our town with window panes breaking and all. We thought cyclone might hit us.. but it didn't.. don't know when it happened.. I think I was around 10-12... there was no power.. I spent all night sitting in te balcony when parents were asleep. I so wished that cyclone hits us.. I know.. it causes a lot of damage.. but I still wanna see a storm...


Umm.. leaving you with one of my old poem...

Trees swaying
Dancing in fury
Hand of god visible truly..
swishing wind scaring.. all who have sinned
The church bells go crazy
The vision goes hazy
With our eyes skinned
We look at thee
Oh lord in your glory
Forgive our follies
The birds in tandem
Raise their voices.
Accompaniment to the storm
Various noises
The wind changes direction
calm... time for regeneration
The rains stop
Silence pin drop
Then the clamor rise again
The fear was all in vain
As the new shoot rises..
The world rejoices...


Prompted at : ABC Wednesday

Ah yes I have been!! Cool! Usha Ma'am has awarded me the butterfly award for the coolest blog :)

And as the rule goes.. I get to forward it to all of my friends who I feel deserves this :) And do I have a list!!

Before I introduce my blog with the image.. and even before I actually introduce my list.. I want to thank Usha :) And not just for giving me the award!

There are few people in life.. who inspire you with their words.. and few with their actions.. and yet there are some who inspire you with nothing but being what they are :) By sharing themselves... And she is one such person.

I don't claim to know her personally.. nor have I interacted much with her.. and yet.. when I read her poems.. * I recommend you read it too here * there is an instant connection. I may have not gone through the same thing.. and yet I can relate to it. Her poems do not have big words or really complicated styles.. She has a style of her own.. and each poem.. each idea is expressed with such mastery that it cannot help but make you admire her.. and still there is inherent simplicity that makes you want to read it again and again....

And I want to thank her for giving me the pleasure of reading it through.. for sharing it :) and for providing guidance.. if someone approaches her and yet not be very overbearing about it :) And so I would like to give this award right back to you!

And now....


Let me introduce you to my award :)


Ah! there it is :) And now time for me to roll out my list. I have been random blog hopping for past one year and have finally..

1) Nancy : For the utter simplicity of your posts and the keen observation which time and again make me realize how much of life I apparently miss.. and for those little gem of posts that inspire :) And for being the person you are.. a sweet friend.. and yet.. we have not really interacted in any other way but through our blog :)
2) Neeru: For writing cute little poems and inspiring me to write some more.. for being my partner in crime in everything that 2 people can share separated by age and distance .. When I am with you.. I relive my life.. and that makes you precious for me.. and ofcourse your blog.. which is a treasure trove of romance :)

We have traversed through many twisted pitfalls in life.. and been together all along.. :) May be stay friends like this for many years to come.. and may be.. grow closer than this !!

3) Vinay: For the beautiful poetry he writes and also for being so sweet to talk to personally :) and for the changing blog templates :D :D

4) Pratsie : For your poems anf for that amazing bond that we share.. for you can read my mind.. as I can yours :) And for sharing the same interests that I do.. making it easier for me to share my life :)

5) Anoop : For your blog represents you... in all your different shades :)

6) Rambler : I don't really know you.. and yet I remember the first reaction I had when I read your blog.. Your blog made me think.. I don't make a habit of thinking.. so it was a welcome change :)

7) Dockbillin: Again, I have not interacted with you much. But I remember one year back.. I had accidentally stumbled upon your blog.. and well since then I have been regular in reading.. if not in commenting.. for I have to login to multiply.. which I haven't in a long time... I would just like say that I love what you write.. almost all the posts :)

8) Navin : I don't really have to give reasons.. do I ? For liking you or your blog.. You are one romantic poet I have seen who is so flowery in the language and yet hasn't lost the flavor of it :) Though nowadays you have become a tad too philosophical.. or as you say.. flawsophical :P :P We started like house on fire.. and then cooled off like anything and now we are back as friends.. slowly and steadily.. I like where we are going as friends :)


Ah there are so many others too who deserve to be mentioned.. but for now .. this is the list :)

Ah recent update! I got one more award yay!! by pratsie :D :D

This award celebrates the relationship on blogosphere and their proximity that surpasses any boundries that we have ...

Thank you girl!





Again I have to pass this awards to others..

1) Agnes : For being so sweet in your comments and your blog.. which I happen to love :)


2) Nancy : I don't know what reason to give .. other than that we have not interacted much... and we do share a bond.. dont we ?

3) Cess : For her perky posts and up-on-your-face attitude. and the fact that something or the other always keep happening in her blog :) its a treat to read :)

4) Karthik : For we first met on his blog and have interacted later on.. off blogs and become good friends

5) Kris : Again, met over the blogosphere. What I really love about your blog is its apparent simplicity! and the honesty with which you blog :)

Randomness is such an fascinating concept in itself.. If we really think about it in particular.. we can say that a truely random phenomenon doesnt exist.. if we research deep enough we can find a pattern.. even our dreams.. our thoughts follow a certain pattern isnt it ?

Well got nothing much to say about it.. but am ending the post with an old write...

Randomly in and randomly out
You keep bugging me oh randomly thought

I tried hard and i never sought
At every step i valiantly fought

But out you pop.. enter my mind
And there is nothing else i can find

Until i express my randomly thought
And you get the due u feel u ought!


Prompted at : ABC Wednesday

Seems like a new tag is being passed around.. and I like it.. so here it is.. A bunch of questions that you got to answer in comments section!

Isnt that cool ?

So here is the set of questions...


This is from Sid's blog..

1. If curiosity Killed The Cat, what happened to the mice???
2. What do you think about my Blog?
3. Something I have and YOU want?
4. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
5. Describe me in one word.
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Do you still think that way about me now?
8. What reminds you of me?
9. If you could give me anything what would it be?
10. How well do you know me?
11. How do you see me in the future?
12. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
13. Are you going to post this in your blog and see what I say about you?


And this from anoop's blog!

1. Who are you? Rest of the questions were same as Sid's.. so have not posted it :)

Do reply in the comments

A day dedicated to prevention of child abuse. This cause has been always a passion for me. I know I have been like very slack with my volunteering for long. And also that I have not been concentrating on this too..

Well so my 2 cents in reminding people about the evil snake lurks within our society

Lets celebrate world's day for prevention of Child abuse...

I would like to bring forth 2 posts that I have wrote about child abuse.. do go through ..

here and here

I am quite emotional about this subject and hence cannot really speak much about it.. however, I would surely share some links

Do take time to visit and to know.. For whether we believe or not every other child in our near surrounding is being abused.

This is a comprehensive report about the same .. out here

You can access the study done by Ministry of women and child development out here

One of the most important point to consider is that

1. Boys are abused more than girls are.
2. The abused may turn into abuser in the later stage of life...

Few very easily implemented steps to reduce Abuse at our end...

• Educate our children about sex. While state governments are on a spree to ban sex education in schools, we can make a difference ourselves. If you are parents, educate your child about appropriate/inappropriate behavior, when to trust whom and how much, how to speak their mind out, etc. This can be (and should be) much before the “birds and bees” education.

• If you are not parents yourselves, but know and care about other families of friends and relatives, open up this topic for discussion and encourage the parents to do what is right.

• If you leave your child at a creche, play-house, or use baby-sitters, carefully screen such places and people. Talk to other parents who have used their services before. Be safe and sure rather than trust blindly. I know nurseries in India who use opium or other narcotic drugs to put babies and children to sleep so they can be managed (and usually abused) easily. If you think this is not true, talk to any child counselor or child care social worker in any Indian metro, who will educate you about the truth.

• If you think talking about sex is difficult for you, don’t just be embarrassed, shrug it off, and give it up. Many parents don’t know their children are victims, and live in a fantasy world of “nothing like that would ever happen to my child“. Talk to your parents in order to understand what difficulties they had to face culturally when bringing you up. That may give clues to how to overcome cultural taboos.

• Change the “Elders are authority, always right, always to be respected” culture to “Elders are always to be respected, unless they act wrongly” culture. This attitude, for centuries, has encouraged the perpetrators of such crimes, and would be the most difficult to change. But it’s never too late to start.

• Be sensitive to your friends, family, and acquaintances. Some of them may be victims of a dark past. Be a friend and counselor for them if they ever need your support.

• Monitor, screen, and filter if necessary, the way your children use the Net. Teach them about the importance of privacy when using instant messaging, email, or social networking sites. As a corollary, if you know parents who are not Net-savvy, but have bought a PC and net access at home for their children, teach the parents about the dangers associated with pornography and the Net. Not being savvy themselves, they may be naive or not knowledgeable.

• Talk and share your experiences with other parents. Let us learn from each other, and do our best to make society safer for our children.

• Finally, spread the word. Spread the awareness. We owe it to the next generation.

The saddest part is.. the kids don't know how to express, the parents don't listen and if they do.. they over look it avoid it!

I have personally seen cases wherein children were saved due to sex education and also seen and heard of people who are a victim of it.. I am sure most of you can find some incident yourself.. deep within your psyche if you think and be honest to yourself...

I don't claim to have formulated any of the post myself.. It is just a copy paste.. and yet.. I just want to share.. and may be make people aware..

I remember the first time I had written the post about 53% abuse.. as per NHRC .. I had people arguing me about the statistics.. and there is a myth that this happens in lower middle classes and poor people.. when the truth abuse is beyond class divides..

There are many NGO's nowadays that work with abused children.. but I would like to bring to your notice one organization that has courses for parents to not only teach children how to avoid being abused.. and also to detect the same by the children's behavior.. That organization is Tulir

I plan to take this course.. soon..

Ah and the next time you find that your child is being moody or stubborn and avoiding someone.. or is being in general unresponsive.. has a recurring night mare.. don't chalk this upto.. "that particular age".. but investigate.. communicate..

And yes.. do notice them.. listen to them.. not hear them .. listen to what they say.. and what is left unsaid..

Would like to leave you with a case that happened .. and was shared by my friend...

This friend of mine is very much into volunteering.. her friend was married and had a child of 3 years old. Once they had to go out and needed someone to baby sit. Usually this friend of mine qould do it. but for some reason she was busy .. so the best friend of the guy was chosen to baby sit.. as the baby liked him a lot..

But somehow that day the baby kept resisting and kept crying about it.. it demanded to be with this friend of mine..

So frantic parents tired of their babies moodiness called my friend.. and she agreed to baby sit.. And the baby was not cranky at all.. Since my friend was used to handling well .. affected people.. she could detect the symptoms and it came to light that the husband's friend had made a bad overtues...

Ah well things did work out fine.. for my friend gave the parents right information. .. and the child was saved...

Phew!

Hi..Every one.....I hope blooging is fun..Introduction...ke liye.. I can say i am A controlled schezophrenic on the loose...Simple..stupid..and silent...dat describes me..

I have invited one of my hostel buddies to blog with me. She is apprehensive of blogging.. so this is a start for her! Let me introduce Preetha Nair!

We have had many fun times... *coughs* not so fun times together! Loads of arguments and some sweet times.. I am looking forward to sparring with her again!

She will give a detailed intro soon enough.. so am just stopping at saying.. something that I wrote for her as a testimonial...

Look at the moon how beautiful it is. With spots and all still.. besides imperfection is art.. is unique The moon's spots doesn't deviate us from its beauty.. what else.. it attenuates it.. It is true that moon doesn't have its own shine.. but it has fired many a poets soul .. has made many a lovers writhe in longing.. Such is this girl! she has the beauty of the moon and the charm that hypnotize everyone she meets.. she touches their life in a way that everyone keep remembering her long after she has moved on.. She sure is special.. There are so many stars in the sky.. but still moon is special.. as it is nearest.. very close to my heart you are sweetheart! And.. your charisma is such that even the sun has to set.. have u ever wondered why there is no moon fall? Sweety.. I am sure you will have your own full moon day ... and when it happens.. no one ever can ignore you.. from the layman to the richest of the soul.. everyone would be mesmerized by you. My best wishes are always with you!!!

When I say "quality" there is a lot to discuss about ofcourse.. But I would like you guys to introspect about the quality of your life... how satisfied are you with your life???


Infact.. I would like you guys to try and answer with respect to the points specified in this image here...



How would you rate your life...

Work wise?? My job is most uninspiring and uninteresting for me.. but the money the incentives are amazing.. and the best part is.. i never have to take my work home.. and even in office I can spend as much time as I was blogging and all.. most of poems are written in office.. I started blogging coz i was very bored in office.. so its a mixed bag i guess.. I shall rate it .. umm 6/10

Health wise?? I have never been seriously sick. Nor do I have any chances of falling sick ideally.. But yes I am overweight.. still won't say I have any complaints healthwise.. my rating.. 8/10

Education ?? Frankly I have no complaints. I read what I wanted to.. and as much as I wanted to.. My rating 9/10

Spiritual factor?? I would love to run away somewhere and be alone one of these days.. other than that.. I don't have any soul searching question.. other than ofcourse.. why am I the way I am.. erm still good enough Rating: 7/10


Family factor?? This most of the time bugs me. Though I live with my family and also we love each other.. I feel there is a lack of the "family" feeling. I want this part of my life to improve.. Rating: 4/10



Stress factor?? I am not stressed. Sometimes I wish I was.. erm.. Rating: 10/10

Psychological factor?? By large this is hardest to rate.. simply coz I tend to swing at the extreme. Either am on the 19th cloud.. or in doldrums... umm why 19th ? dont ask me.. its just a random prime no. :) Still my tentative rating now : 7/10

umm 51/70 .. that would come up to nearly 73%

Pretty good i guess : )


Ofcourse the gradation and the point system is all mine and nothing scientific about it at all...

I would love you guys.. the readers to take it up as a tag and them may be leave the link on my blog.. or else just try and grade it and leave the percentage..

Do take it on.. and may be introspect and improve :)

Prompted at : ABC Wednesday

Past present and future.. has been by far my favorite topics to discuss.. for am not of a very intellectual bend wherein I can keep going on and on about certain idea.. and all .. I have been tagged by Vinay to share a slice of my life with you.. and here it is..

Oldest memories :

The oldest memory I have of my mom combing my hair.. I was 4 years old that time I guess. And I remember that coz that memory has been frozen in a "picture". I believe though that I would still remember that feeling. It makes me feel safe even today....

I remember being taken for a ride on my dad's shoulders while he had a suitcase to hold .. the train had some engine problem and we were stranded. It was tough on him.. but well I had a time of my life...

I remember playing carrom.. just four of us...

Explicitly of my sister.. its hard to remember anything.... and yet I remember being stranded in our school for the school bus left.. my sis waited for me and missed the bus.. so we were the only 2 people in the whole big school with graveyard and the church.. it was scary!

I remember my first friend.. from my pre school.. no kidding I really do.. the feeling of being out of place .. and then finding some familiar face.. she stayed in our apartment :)

What were you doing ten years ago?

Ten years ago , 1998... I was having time of my life in my 10th std. Bunking classes.. stealing away to have that occasional cutting chai.. being a pain in the ass in general... And making amazing friends.. it was one of my "most" social phase.. And of dramatic change.. the woman that I am now.. was formed in those initial days.. when I shed my girly ways... I stopped being a cry baby and generally being obnoxious.. I learnt to depend on others and more importantly to be dependable. And first felt the pressure of expectations and surprisingly lived upto it :)

Today

Today I am someone who cribs and complains but then when required just gets going with life. I know I am strong and that I can face whatever life throws in my way. But I refuse to be really sweet about it. I will keep complaining!

I am more or less happy with what I have in life. I know it could have been worse. I am still not near anything I want to be. But I will be :) In short.. life has been hard.. but not impossiblely so.

And yeah.. when u r at the bottom the only way you can go is top .. *fingers crossed*

Tomorrow

Tomorrow will take care of itself whenever it decides to come ..

14 years from now

I will be richer than I am now.. hopefully would be wiser and more patient with mine and everybody else's shortcomings..

I would certainly not gain any weight.. even if I didnt lose what I have now :D :D

Read more books... have a room of my own with one big closet for my books... which I dont have to share with anyone.. and most importantly.. a free lark with no responsibility..

If you built a time capsule, what it would it contain?

Umm.. other than the usual food and clothes.. books... a camera... and a laptop.. :)


And now I tag......

Anoop

Nancy

One more of a random post... Most of you guys know now that I have disconnected net from home so most of the days since weekend I have come home with the mobile phone pasted to my ear. Also, these conversations tend to continue late in the night which makes me late to bed.. People who know me would vouch for my capacity to "talk" the talk.. Anyways.. as it happens.. coz of this my dad finally has come out of his indifference and started to bug me to go to sleep..

It is a source of joy not irritation coz I have waited for ages for him to start taking notice of us again.. *Long old story *

So... I have been giving him lot more reasons to bug me.. namely.. I wake up late.. do the chores late.. haphazardly.. cook food late.. etc etc...

So I guess today he decided to teach me a lesson. In the morning he woke me up and said "Its 3:30 pm! Don't you have to go to office today ?"

I was scared shitless would be a mild way of putting what I went through.. for it was definitely possible that it happens for real [ has happened in the past].. and I ran all the way to the hall where the clock is situated only to find it was 9:30 am.. And dad had this big smug grin on his face.

He had made his point.. and how!

So here's the resolution am hoping to keep.. sleep by 1:00 am and wake up by 8:00 am.. earlier if I can manage.. and keep low on phone conversations... For I can understand that dad would have loved to talk to me.. I would too.. how come I never noticed that he would be lonely ?

I guess just my thing to take my family for granted and then I complain!

It is gonna change for sure! I will keep you posted ofcourse!

Alryt! I am here online.. couldnt keep away obviously.. couldnt keep away from writing too.. Surprise Surprise! I actually wrote on paper... I have maintained for ages that I wouldnt have ever written anything if I had to write on paper.. evidently.. my need to write is more insistent than my dislike of writing on paper.. And you know what ? I am actually buzzing with ideas..umm a story is in the pipeline.. almost ready to be written.. you can see it tomorrow.. the tentative title is " The Silent Symphony"...

And yes.. it was completely written on paper.. so thats new :)

The weekend that was.. was pretty good.. considering.. how apprehensive i was.. and that my sister ditched me.. yet again.. ermm..

Well I read two books.. beautiful books.. one was about a group of musician.. is that why I am writing something similar? Possibly.. but the tone of the story is totally different.. it was more like for a random perusal.. nothing spectacular.. and not bad.. Very small parts of it I liked.. :)

And the second one was "The pomegranate juice" .. Amazing storyline.. many recipes are given.. if it wasn't all non veggie.. I would have loved to try :).. its a story of 3 sisters.. and its not feministic. It is lovely :)

Detailed review later.. may be tomorrow :)

Oh yeah.. had long conversation with a friend which lasted hours.. nearly 2 hours infact :) more or less.. prolly more.... Nothing better than a lovely conversation.. sitting in the terrace in the night and gentle breeze.. while the moon shines bright.. and you can see the "great bear" right on the top! Just amazing!

Parijat is a flower that is found in almost all parts of India. It has amazing fragrance and it blooms in the night. It is considered as auspicious and is generally used in poojas et al.. One should smell it on summer nights.. the scent stays with you for long believe me!

The biological name for this tree is "Nyctanthes arbor-tristis "


It is a shrub or a small tree growing to 10 m tall, with flaky grey bark. The leaves are opposite, simple, 6-12 cm long and 2-6.5 cm broad, with an entire margin. The flowers are fragrant, with a five- to eight-lobed white corolla with an orange-red centre; they are produced in clusters of two to seven together, with individual flowers opening at dusk and finishing at dawn. The fruit is a flat brown heart-shaped to round capsule 2 cm diameter, with two sections each containing a single seed.

The tree is said to have a lot of medicinal properties .

The fresh leaves of the plant prepared in the form of juice, infusions or decoctions and in combination with other herbs are found to be useful in treating inflammations, sciatica, itching, fever, bronchitis, asthma, cough, dyspepsia(difficulty with digestion associated with pain, flatulence, heartburn and nausea), constipation as the active principals contained within them are found to have anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, digestive, expectorant, diuretic and laxative properties. The leaves were also considered antidotal for reptile venom

Various preparations of the fresh flowers were found useful in treating diseases like colic, dyspepsia, flatulence, greyness of hair and baldness .

The bark when chewed with betel nut and leaf was eaten to promote expectoration of thick phlegm. The seeds when powdered and prepared as a paste are used to cure scurvy and affections of the scalp.



The flowers are also used as a traditional yellow dye. They are also considered to be water purifiers. The wood has been used to form a food batten base for tile or grass thatch roofs while the young branches are suitable for making baskets. The bark of the tree is sometimes used as a tanning material and the leaves are used for polishing wood and ivory.

In the Indian mythology, parijata has been mentioned in many a stories..

There is an interesting story from which the name "Nyctanthes arbor-tristis" seems to have been derived from.

It is said that once a royal princess fell in love with the sun god . She was enamored of his brilliance and beauty as he daily passed through the sky from east to west in his fiery chariot. Her devotion attracted his attention and for a while he favored her with his attention but after awhile he was distracted with other interests and she was deserted. In despair she killed herself and from her cremated ashes the parijata tree arose. Since she was rejected by Surya Dev, the flowers of the tree only bloom at night. Then before the sun rises the flowers fall so its rays will not strike her. Based on this story the tree was given the species name "arbor -tristis" which means "tree of sorrow".

Another story surrounding the trees origin is found in several ancient Indian scriptures called the Puranas. It is said that when the celestial beings, at the behest of Hari-the Preserver of the Universe, churned the cosmic ocean to obtain certain boons that would help alleviate suffering and protect the powers of good from the powers of evil one of the parijata tree appeared as one of the divine treasures. Its perfume was said to permeate the entire universe. After the parijata tree emerged from the ocean of existence it taken to the heaven and planted in the pleasure garden of Indra- the lord of the gods.

It is said that Lord Krishna's two wives, Satyabhama and Rukmini wanted this "Parijata" tree from the Heaven to be planted in their personal garden. Krishna, wanting to keep both his wives happy, planted this tree so that the flowers fell in Rukmini’s garden while the tree remained in Satyabhama’s garden.

All in all an interesting flower don't you think ? Personally I don't care about the medicinal properties or the stories.. the fragrance is divine.. Many of the houses near my street have this tree and when it blooms in the night *...........Sigh.........*

I love walking in the night and smell them...

And I remember I used to wake up 5:30 am.. long time back.. to pluck it for my Uncle who would do puja everyday.. the grass was wet with dew and the flowers too had dew drops.. that one moment made me feel as if I was indeed in paradise :)

Uncle had a rule... we would shake the tree and the flowers that fell down were collected and the rest were not touched.. so well it was like standing in midst of the canopy of white and orange :)

Note: sources are as follows
1. Parijat
2. Wikipedia

Prompted at:

Umm read Kris's blog about resolution.. which reminded me of mine.... here take a look! 15 of them.. not one actually followed but ofcourse! Umm.. So as a part of resolution 1.. I had decided to join a GYM.. umm before that we had to shift... and stuff.. so 5 months down the line we decided to join again.. there was one nearby.. after many postponement we went there one day.. only to find it was shut already.. we noted the time and all and decided to visit the next day for sure...

Umm many late starts later it was forgotten.. again after few weeks we decided its time.. So we bought new tracks.. socks and all * part of the ritual of joining GYM ** Have done that 3 times already and never followed through more than 15 days** * The tracks are worn out now.. threw them away few weeks back.. and before you ask.. no haven't joined gym yet :D :D

So the most recent twitch to join again happened after the most recent shopping expedition.. Am sure its same for most over weights.. I get like super duper depressed when I go shopping.. thats why I keep it as short as possible.. and yet *sigh.. I shopped for my cousins engagement.. where ppl gave me general lecture about "how it is not good for my health and you know future ""prospects"" I am sure you understand what that means"..

Anyways, this did motivated me again.. to lose weight.. yeah it did.. my sister did extensive research online and downloaded like loads of ebooks with various exercises.. which she does follow sporadically and then asks me if it works.. more often than not... I follow her lead and tell her yeah yeah... to everything that she says.. And then.. she gives me a lecture about how I should try them too.. in short waxes and wanes about them and I psyche out completely :)

Umm.. finally.. one weekend.. we bought new tracks.. the next weekend I went and bought shoes and socks.. The third weekend.. bought Tee's to go with the tracks.. and now two weeks have passed by.. we haven't yet joined... last week we were broke.. so had to wait for the sal to be credited.. my sister's.. that gets credited first.. since this weekend.. I am trying hard to wake up by 6:00 and my sis to not sleep by 6:00

Oh yeah.. we bothare failing.. as of now.. You never know this week might be different... may be not :)

*Touch Wood*

Ah there you are! Smelling of wildflowers and summer afternoon. So fresh! So inviting! Resisting the temptation to sink in you,I quickly shed my clothes and reach for the bathrobe.
After a quick shower, I come near. You are so soft! So satiny! Just what I need after a long tiring day. I can feel the tension slipping away!
You feel like a gentle breeze. So cool to touch! Soon you will be warm and all the more alluring. All night wrapped in you. I can dream. Just heavenly!

There is something sensual about freshly washed and sun-dried bed sheet!

Passion is essential in life.. even if your life is a piece of shit.. there has to be something worth living for don't u think ?

I mean.. if there is light at the end of the tunnel.. its worth stumbling over.. thousand times.. in the dark.. even if we die by the time we reach the light.. even if we dont reach the light.. and die trying.. isnt that worth more than living in a dull light.. thats neither here nor there.. a life that doesnt give the feeling of "lived" is not worth living dont u think ?

Having said that.. i dunno.. what i am passionate in life about ... once upon a time.. i used to know.. .. or so i think.. but if i have to honest with myself.. i never felt anything that was worth really struggling for..

may be once in blue moon i might be motivated enough.. to prove myself.. but thats not passion.. may be its just a shadow of it.. but really... i make plans.. but i dont get motivated enough to see through it.. I know ppl say.. knwing where u r erring.. is coming half way through.. but thats not true.. not in my case.. for I have always known.. whats lacking.. I call it being "honest" with myself... but for some reason.. i have no interest in changing any thing.. I wish for a change.. like someone wishes for their mother's food when they are away.. wistfully.. I would never really do anything about it... and hence I cannot even cry that my dreams are broken.. for I never tried to make them come true..

When I am in mood.. I rant and rave about this listlessness.. this "emptiness" I find thousand reasons for it.. but the gist of the matter is.. that Deep down.. I couldnt care less... And this sometimes.. scares me.. this "very passionless" life... and sometimes angers me.. and what angers me more is that I dont do anything about it..

I find excuses.. I find justifications.. but well .. I wish I was passionate about something in life...

Even if it was fora man.. may be my family ? my job ? some cause?.. I cannot stick to anything for long..

Anything that comes remotely close to passion is my need to write.. its a craving alright.. and yet.. I don't want to be a writer.. for i know for sure.. that my imagination does have a limit.. or may be.. I am not a very imaginative person.. doesnt mean.. i dont have imagination.. just that its not enough...

Though I am reasonably good as a poet.. i still find something lacking there.. there are poems.. which I find so bland that.. well whatever.. whatever lil passion I have .. I spend it on poems.. so some of them.. do touch my heart.. funnily enough.. they come.. when I am at my lowest.. the best ones i mean..

Umm I am not sure what I am trying to say.. I do know.. but in a vague sort of way.. damn!

Some times.. certain thought.. keep running through my mind.. and when i let it be.. it becomes into a beautiful.. poem.. or a may be an occasional story.. those i like.. only they dont come often..
enough!!!

Umm.. I didnt want this to be a "rant".. but looks like it is one.. No i am not down.. its just that.. well I watched Rock on now.. I was stuck.. by the passion.. these ppl had for music.. the characters ofcourse! I know they compromised it and all... and yet.. it was alive somewhere.. the passion myt sleep.. but it was just there! The same feeling.. I have when I think of people who have convictions...I feel deep rooted respect for anyone who has an ounce of ambition.. simply coz I dont have any..

Once upon a time.. I wanted a normal family... or whatever .. I had a dream of this not so perfect perfect person.. and in a misty kind of way... I will have a fulfilling career.. and kids.. who would never have the complaints.. that I had from life.. and all... where ofcourse i was the backbone of the family.. and yet... nowadays.. I question the need I have of marriage.. I once promised mysef.. I wouldn't do the same mistakes as my mom.. and yet.. I did something nearly just that!

I no longer feel.. I am capable of being so "giving" as I thought I could be.. and I am not sure.. if I really want to take responsibility of a family..

I once said.. I want to live alone.. with no one to bother about me.. or me bothering about anyone... But again.. if I am to be honest.. I have spent countless evenings waiting for a call.. from home.. knowing that it wont come.. it just didnt fit the budget.. and feeling sick with nostalgia.. so much so that.. I could gag.. and yet.. well I did value the freedom.. but at what cost ?.. the envious looks I hid from everyone.. when someone's relatives came to visit.. In 4 years of living in hostel.. my sis never did visit me.. not once! no calls either.. other than.. well only once.. and I so wish.. she never had to make that call!

Life certainly has not been easy for me.. but it wasn't that hard either.. in many ways.. I always found help.. whenever I really needed them.. I guess I am thankful to god for that... Or may be.. its just that my survival instincts are really honed well... And yet.. I wish.. there was something.. I was living for.. even if I failed.. I wish there was a trophy at the end of this rat race.. umm trophy that mattered enough.. to die for....



My secret fear is that.. 20 years down the line.. I shall be saying the same damn thing!

Whoosh! enough rant for today :D :D

I can finally say I have come out of the orkut phase.. yay! Its been one week and I have not logged in.. and I have no inclination to do it.. isnt that gr8 ? It certainly is ...

Umm had a nice day yesterday.. and hoping for a friend to drop in today.. so it seems fine :)

Well the down side is.. have nothing to blog about either.. well a break doesnt hurt certainly?

I have decided not to renew my internet connection at home.. and am in afternoon shift.. so well ppl can expect me not online much.. a nice change I should say :)

I finished "Snow" finally.. Loved it extremely.. but I wish atleast one poem was included... got to say the conversational tone was engaging.. so was the interplay of emotions.. the insecurity of turbulent times.. and the deceptions... and weakness of human tendencies.. umm worth a read..

Other than that well.. few new purchases.. a microwave a camera and all.. diwali bonanza that has left me broke .. i dont mind the second part at all..

Oh yeah.. am planning to shift jobs.. have few misgivings about it.. all in all nothing special about life...