meena iyer
A day dedicated to prevention of child abuse. This cause has been always a passion for me. I know I have been like very slack with my volunteering for long. And also that I have not been concentrating on this too..

Well so my 2 cents in reminding people about the evil snake lurks within our society

Lets celebrate world's day for prevention of Child abuse...

I would like to bring forth 2 posts that I have wrote about child abuse.. do go through ..

here and here

I am quite emotional about this subject and hence cannot really speak much about it.. however, I would surely share some links

Do take time to visit and to know.. For whether we believe or not every other child in our near surrounding is being abused.

This is a comprehensive report about the same .. out here

You can access the study done by Ministry of women and child development out here

One of the most important point to consider is that

1. Boys are abused more than girls are.
2. The abused may turn into abuser in the later stage of life...

Few very easily implemented steps to reduce Abuse at our end...

  • Educate our children about sex. While state governments are on a spree to ban sex education in schools, we can make a difference ourselves. If you are parents, educate your child about appropriate/inappropriate behavior, when to trust whom and how much, how to speak their mind out, etc. This can be (and should be) much before the “birds and bees” education.

  • If you are not parents yourselves, but know and care about other families of friends and relatives, open up this topic for discussion and encourage the parents to do what is right.

  • If you leave your child at a creche, play-house, or use baby-sitters, carefully screen such places and people. Talk to other parents who have used their services before. Be safe and sure rather than trust blindly. I know nurseries in India who use opium or other narcotic drugs to put babies and children to sleep so they can be managed (and usually abused) easily. If you think this is not true, talk to any child counselor or child care social worker in any Indian metro, who will educate you about the truth.

  • If you think talking about sex is difficult for you, don’t just be embarrassed, shrug it off, and give it up. Many parents don’t know their children are victims, and live in a fantasy world of “nothing like that would ever happen to my child“. Talk to your parents in order to understand what difficulties they had to face culturally when bringing you up. That may give clues to how to overcome cultural taboos.

  • Change the “Elders are authority, always right, always to be respected” culture to “Elders are always to be respected, unless they act wrongly” culture. This attitude, for centuries, has encouraged the perpetrators of such crimes, and would be the most difficult to change. But it’s never too late to start.

  • Be sensitive to your friends, family, and acquaintances. Some of them may be victims of a dark past. Be a friend and counselor for them if they ever need your support.

  • Monitor, screen, and filter if necessary, the way your children use the Net. Teach them about the importance of privacy when using instant messaging, email, or social networking sites. As a corollary, if you know parents who are not Net-savvy, but have bought a PC and net access at home for their children, teach the parents about the dangers associated with pornography and the Net. Not being savvy themselves, they may be naive or not knowledgeable.

  • Talk and share your experiences with other parents. Let us learn from each other, and do our best to make society safer for our children.

  • Finally, spread the word. Spread the awareness. We owe it to the next generation.

The saddest part is.. the kids don't know how to express, the parents don't listen and if they do.. they over look it avoid it!

I have personally seen cases wherein children were saved due to sex education and also seen and heard of people who are a victim of it.. I am sure most of you can find some incident yourself.. deep within your psyche if you think and be honest to yourself...

I don't claim to have formulated any of the post myself.. It is just a copy paste.. and yet.. I just want to share.. and may be make people aware..

I remember the first time I had written the post about 53% abuse.. as per NHRC .. I had people arguing me about the statistics.. and there is a myth that this happens in lower middle classes and poor people.. when the truth abuse is beyond class divides..

There are many NGO's nowadays that work with abused children.. but I would like to bring to your notice one organization that has courses for parents to not only teach children how to avoid being abused.. and also to detect the same by the children's behavior.. That organization is Tulir

I plan to take this course.. soon..

Ah and the next time you find that your child is being moody or stubborn and avoiding someone.. or is being in general unresponsive.. has a recurring night mare.. don't chalk this upto.. "that particular age".. but investigate.. communicate..

And yes.. do notice them.. listen to them.. not hear them .. listen to what they say.. and what is left unsaid..

Would like to leave you with a case that happened .. and was shared by my friend...

This friend of mine is very much into volunteering.. her friend was married and had a child of 3 years old. Once they had to go out and needed someone to baby sit. Usually this friend of mine qould do it. but for some reason she was busy .. so the best friend of the guy was chosen to baby sit.. as the baby liked him a lot..

But somehow that day the baby kept resisting and kept crying about it.. it demanded to be with this friend of mine..

So frantic parents tired of their babies moodiness called my friend.. and she agreed to baby sit.. And the baby was not cranky at all.. Since my friend was used to handling well .. affected people.. she could detect the symptoms and it came to light that the husband's friend had made a bad overtues...

Ah well things did work out fine.. for my friend gave the parents right information. .. and the child was saved...

5 Responses
  1. Agnes Says:

    Hi Winnie. How nice of you to take the time and write this. Tragic, really, and the magnitude of it is really overwhelming.
    Thank you for your posting it.

  2. Rambler Says:

    hey really good to see people being so much concerned about a sensitive issue like this, as you said most important thing in this regard is to spreak awareness and I am glad many people are doing that.

  3. --xh-- Says:

    yup - i agree with you.. this is a case very much dear to my heart...

  4. Reflections Says:

    Thank U is a fear that haunts every parent.
    Though I do very 'ultra casually' ask the kids about 'bad touch' I havent openly spoken to them it. I keep postponing it telling myself they r too young & there is still time....yes I know I'm procrastinating:-(

  5. @agnes.. its really sad.. for not many people are ready to talk about it.. not even in my peer group.. a set of people who consider themselves.. 'modern' if we dont change ourselves... there wud be one more generation of affected people!

    @rambler :) Hope you would join in and do awareness at your end too :)

    @ xh.. :)

    @ nancy

    its never too early.. I have known of a parent who started it when her kid was like 2 years old.

    While she taught the kid about her body parts.. she taught that no one should touch them in "those" parts. Not even mommy and daddy.. unless its for the bathing and cleaning..