Nah this doesnt mean i am trying to tpe without leaving my hands.. all i mean is like touch typing.. i am letting myself write efforlessly. I am not sure what i want to write, but the urge to write is too strong.. not to comply...

Well these few days.. since diwali infact i am feeling low.. its been 2 months now.. ahvent been involved in any volunteerign work...

Oh yeh i am becoming disinterested in reading boooks : i ahve 2 books to complete.. and yet both are left alone...

I am becoming disinterested in orkutting too.. many a times i sit in front of computer.. god knows what i do.. but i dun post in any comm.. or seek to talk to ppl.. nowadays unless invited,... I dun login into chat software... and if ilogin.. i dun buzz ppl...

I am disinterested.. I am lazy and i am feeling down..

And.. i ahve yet had nice conversations with many ppl... It feels good but if it wasnt there also i cudnt care less..

It is good in a way i guess.. whatever...

I feel i complain too much.. i guess i do..

Damn.. i dunno what else to write.. it doesnt feel right...

I know what i wanna do at this point of time.. this uneasiness at the bottom of my belly.. is familiar....

I wanna sit on the darkest corner of my tarace. hostel tarrace.. feet dangling in the air.. facing away from the door.. yes... I wanna stare into darkness and think nothing...

I wanna smell the campfire i wanna hear the farmers sitting watch in the night.. i wanna hear him sing local songs....

I wanna see stars so many of them that they overwhelm me.. I wanna feel so minusclue that i become invisible.. I wanna sing melancholy song.. slowly humming.. and then making weird noises..

I wanna laugh alone... on my stewpidity.. And then i wanna wait till early dawn. I wanna sleep on the tarrace.. all alone... feel like there is no one but me.. Then i wanna go to that little niche... that forgotten temple on the base of the mountain.. I wanna go to the tarrace and try to catch the clouds floating by...

I wanna sit on that favorite rock of mine... I wanna dangle my feet in the flowing creek.. I wana feel the comfort... hiddden from the world.. I wanna feel that warm friendship i felt.. that comfort.. that feeling of hope... I wanna recapture it.. that feeling of goodness.. trust that i am no longer alone... I guess its foreevr lost...

I am not that naive anymore.. nor as tolerating......

May be i ahve lost hope thats all.. I dunnoo