I feel lonely today!
more than I ever felt.. i mean utterly alone.. I hurt a friend knowing how
much she will be hurt.. I wanted to ne stupidly selfish. Juss coz i dint feel
like listening the samething i have been listening for months togather now.. at
any other time i wud have been symphathetic but something changed..
ino longer care for relations and relationship...Every mistake i do my heart
warms me.. i fell dead dying widin myself inch by inch..
The first person I let go were my coll friends.. havent called shraddha
yet!
esp she called only to ask how i did!! Donno wen i will call hey or why i havent called her yet! Ppl trust me..like me too soon! moi dont have respect for it.. I dont know how i end up being a kinda support for ppl.. may be i inspire by my words.. how sick.. like a hollow stalk of lotus cant support the burden on flower of friendship..I wonder y i dint call shraddha..

Then comes smital, her bf is out of country.. y dont i talk to her support her? make her feel she is not alone?

Y dont I bother?? I wud have earlier..bt somethings dead.. prolly i am dead!!

I am sickeningly dead!! inside out.. nothing touches me.. prolly i m that way all along..this seeming warmth is juss a illusion?

Jatin was offline for days togather now. I dint care to scrap him.. prolly coz he never bothered to reply mine LOL!

vindictive in small small things! Then comes neeru!

I dunno y i was rude wid her! I came online later to ask forgiveness॥ dunno what stopped me!! I never knew I had so much meaness in me.. or is it self preservation?

Now I have no idea.. i juss got to call neeru today!

I dont know how i will manage that :(

Then i donno y i feel that harshad was hurt by something i said! which is ridiculous.. Am I a flatterer?? I dont think so.. I dunno know anymore... y do i have to be so not sure of myself... of anything?

I just realised.. shay hasnt been online or talked to me for long!!!

Today is her big DDAY!! Its a sweet secret :) All the every best dear . hope your parents left yesterday!! NJOY and have loads of fun :)

I have been blessed wid so many wonderful friends both online and offline!

Y do i have to destroy everything? I juss donno! some crazy streak widin me that i never knew!!

LOL do i need a psychiatrist???