Old age is such a scary thing! Dont you think? Reduced to the shadow of what you were...
After years and years of independence.. you end up being so vulnerable.. in care of someone else.. even if those someone else is your kids.. still... that vulnerability is so scary.. Lord never let me b that scary.. hopefully let me die before I go through that.. Coz I know.. I cant take it :|

Wondering what brought this?

*sigh* Dad is ill with fever and loose motion.. he is just soo feeble that its so heart wrenching to see my ever so strong dad reduced to such an pitiful state.. or may be once again his mortality mocks at my face

Damn why should he be so old or soo weak?

Sigh! Somehow blogging isnt as comfortable as it was.. but I cant sleep today.. yesterday dad fell down while getting up from the bed.. n now has a high fever.. it scares me that he will fall off again...

Besides.. like most people i have superstitions too.. my mom was so in good health.. until she had that problem that took her life.. in that phase.. she was very much like Dad is right now...

For a moment when i came home from office I freaked out... and the fact that dad wont take much meds or wont go to doctor makes us more vulnerable.. u just cant ignore your dads eccentricities.. somehow we are programmed to obey even if we know he is wrong :|

Still he did take emds after a lot of cajoling!
So now he sleeps well while I keep getting worried.. speculating about future.. getting scared of being an orphan...

Damn!